January 17, 2013

Are You Working ?



Are You Working?

......In any casual gathering, party, meeting, the inevitable question hits me sometimes like a lightening instantly after a name exchange or so in few secs and sometimes it slithers like a serpent after a chat of few minutes of introduction etc.….And now when I get attacked, I am prepared, 
I start with my historical background to earn some respect for my present status of being just a housewife and gradually declare my current status….

So are you working? A woman mostly befitting the 'working' criteria asks!

Oh yes, more than ever! I am working 200%....Although I have worked for 10 years in IT but now as a mom of twins I am working more than I have ever worked and please note that there is pure heartfelt joy in this current work. With no complaints and lot of love as remuneration.

What about you? Are you working? I usually ask to be courteous and feed the ego..

I am an investment banker, a program manager etc…and the answer comes with a proud posture with a dash of pity in those eyes for me.

And the words flow from the working woman for consolation...as I had pressed the agony aunt button in hers...

Hmmm……. that's good, you have taken a big decision or decision is often replaced by sacrifice, a career sabbatical, or being laid back in life….but often after the profound declaration of being a housewife…the discussion takes pauses with courteous goodbyes or other excuses…and I choose to be too dumb to not understand the loss of interest accident just happened.
All I want to ask is
Does a success scale exist where we all women/mothers have to compete, get measured and rate the success of life depending upon the status quotient or how independent as a woman I am?
I may be dependent on my husband for the financial needs for a while or forever but that’s nowhere makes me less independent as an individual.
What I propose as a common scale which can be measured is the smile/happiness in one's heart and one can choose to be smiling and happy woman/mother in life regardless of being employed. 
Moreover,A woman/mother is always working so the question is invalid. 
What are your thoughts?

Public Disclaimer : I do not opine that all women who are working possess that superior complexity syndrome but citing those accidents which I have faced and perturbed me. I have lived the life on both sides of the spectrum and for me personally both sides are beautiful and no cast of being working/non working make me any less.

13 comments:

  1. I love the way you write. I think the way you express yourself has become even more refined. And I completely agree. I worked at a corporate job for years but felt miserable. I earned money but I felt that I didn't create anything of value. Right now, I am volunteering and writing. People have even questioned me about volunteering, spending time without making money. But what I am doing now is helping someone else and that is something I value a lot. I think financial independence is important but in itself is not some badge of honour. This is a stage in your life, which you should enjoy to the fullest. More power to you :) Ritu

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  2. I love the way you write. I think the way you express yourself has become even more refined. And I completely agree. I worked at a corporate job for years but felt miserable. I earned money but I felt that I didn't create anything of value. Right now, I am volunteering and writing. People have even questioned me about volunteering, spending time without making money. But what I am doing now is helping someone else and that is something I value a lot. I think financial independence is important but in itself is not some badge of honour. This is a stage in your life, which you should enjoy to the fullest. More power to you :) Ritu

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    1. Dear Ritu,

      thanks for your kind words! What you value most is important to you since you have come to live your life and choose the way to do it!

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  3. I hear you loud and clear! :)
    I have written a couple of posts on this topic.
    One is this: http://shailsnest.com/2008/09/01/the-non-workers/

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    1. Dear Shail Mohan,

      Yeah! I read few of your post and realized the bug had bitten you much earlier and must congratulate you for your blog- an ocean to go deep and dive in...have read your story on UTBT too...thanks

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  4. Anonymous9:09 PM

    Amazing post! I can so empathize with you Meenaxi...I have two kids and have chosen to be at home with them in their growing years. I am so happy to read your thoughts and the way you handle the "so called superior sect of women" - Amrita Lal

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    1. Thanks Amrita Lal, its comforting being understood well.

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  5. Anonymous9:53 PM

    We're on the same page dear .. It resonates and how ..!!! I hear you loud n clear. And btw being a homemaker is not a mean job.running one's home efficiently , Looking after kids, Being a PR manager of the family n all that , think about outsourcing all of this without compromising on quality and you'd know...:)
    Richa

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    1. Thanks Richa,

      Wish mothers's love could be outsourced! Loved ur comment on being a PR Manager...I have duly designated myself as CHO - Chief Happiness officer...as my formal intro...all over on my FB profile

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  6. Really liked the way you have put it across "I may be dependent on my husband for the financial needs for a while or forever but that’s nowhere makes me less independent as an individual."....Happiness comes not from being quoted as a working woman or house wife but, with how you make those tiny aims in life and achieve them one by one....the returns be in money, satisfaction or pride...

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    1. Thanks Kapithra for your thoughtfulness and yes, our aims may look tiny but the returns are huge...

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  7. I am almost in the same boat,after an active career for many years now I work from home and yes i too get those cold shoulders,but it is okay because what I do is a small part of the whole that I am !

    well-written !!hope to visit this space more often.

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  8. I shudder at how I used to be the "superior" woman and even now don't like to describe myself as a housewife (though I meet the technical definition). It's not just a woman thing, I'm sure guys have their own codes for placing themselves in relation to each other. Sad...

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